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Post by Fleetlord Atvar on Aug 28, 2008 19:49:47 GMT -5
Benjamin Gret looked down at his child. "Charlie?"
"Yes, dad?"
"Listen. We were put here for unjust reasons. I'm sure you'll think this is really 'cool', but it's dangerous too. Be careful. We're visiting our first universe tomorrow. LAH tells me it's called "Roo One". He says most of the universes are called "Roos", but for some reason there are a few "Doos" and a "Poo".
Charlie snickered at that.
*****
Captain George Chestnut looked down at the beeping light. He tried to figure out what it was. It couldn't be anything bad, or SoDAlg would have told him. That's when a voice came on the intercom. It was SoDAlg.
"Hey, George? It's Jack Thompson Disbarment Day!"
"That near-thousand-year old holiday again? They didn't even think it was important enough to make a holiday out of when it happened."
"We would not have Hologram Games today any more violent than-"
"A flower?"
"No. Flowers are master predators. Evil ones. Specifically daisies. They push all the other plants out of their domain, slowly committing genocide. But, anyway, there's a cake waiting for you in the bridge."
"The last time you offered me cake it was a lie."
"Would I do that again? Now get up!"
The lights flickered and the light beeped more. Finally the chair just rolled out and into the bridge. There was a cake there that said "Happy Jack Thompson Disbarment Day!" on it.
"**** that computer."
*****
Bovit looked at a slightly younger girl in front of him, Shibnaia (New Character-Mine) He'd been looking at her for months. She hadn't seemed to noticed yet.
"I'm going to go off meditating in that field over there."
Bovit only replied, "Sure." How did his life get down to this? Worthless, parentless. The only real friend he had left was his space hopper, and he'd heard rumours coming from up north that they had been calculated not even alive. His only friend was a corpse. Pathetic. He kicked a rock gently with his foot and spit. He would become glorious again. He would become an expert hunter, even if that was not the way of the Pilloses. That was the way of his parents, and that was what he was going to do. He bounced into the distance, looking for an animal to kill and eat.
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Post by Darth Grievi on Aug 28, 2008 21:02:10 GMT -5
Wanderer could be found in the mess hall. Though he had no need to eat, he'd found that humans socialized more when there was food to be had.
He was rather bored. The process of opening a portal to RU1 was painfully long compared to his usual method of universe-hopping. However, he stayed behind, if only for the social interaction. Today, he was pestering Dr. Harrigan South.
"So you're saying that there's no such thing as genetic memory. Nurture over Nature basically?"
"Exactly. Behavior is not pre-programmed beyond basic instinct. Criminals are not born bad, they just grow up bad."
"Tell that to the EFAH."
"The who?"
"Oh, right, that wasn't this timeline... disregard that last comment..."
===============
Martin Allenburg woke up with a pounding headache that morning. It was one of the worst he'd ever had, and, fearing something might be wrong, stumbled his way into the sickbay.
Dr. Amelia Onis checked him out and simply subscribed him a mild sedative. She didn't tell him what was causing the problem, since that was a government secret...
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Post by Fleetlord Atvar on Aug 28, 2008 23:12:49 GMT -5
Manu stared down at his typerpad. He had a great opening, about how he would visit a whole other universe in less than 24 hours... but something seemed wrong. It just didn't make sense that there was a glowing blue man unrecognized by the ship's computers. He couldn't figure it out. But there was something else he could not figure out. He simply could not figure out what was causing the unsedatable pain. He confronted the ship's nurse, Martha Growheart, on it.
"But, I am not seeing why you are not able to cure his pain."
"The sedatives are defective. I just collected the notes from the ship's doctor to get some more."
"But what is making him acting in such pain?"
"Oh, a fairly common disease. It's lucky not all of us have it."
"I am not understanding."
She muttered under her breath "You will be understanding soon enough.
*****
Dethy Hogronet
Dethy flirted with John Grintuaei for the last time. "I have told you far too many times: I am not of any gender! And if you don't shut your flapping communicative organ quite soon, I may just get you alone, take off my gloves, and make you bear my spawn!"
"Bear your spawn... that sounds nice."
"The process involves near-suffocation of the lungs followed by shattering of the rib cage and puncturing of the heart, concluding with your jaws being ripped out, and I can tell you that it involves absolutely no sex at ALL!"
"Then **** you."
"That is impossible. I do not have the same reproductive system as you, you ridiculously retarded excuse for a member of an excuse for a species."
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Post by Darth Grievi on Aug 29, 2008 0:00:52 GMT -5
Calvin Onis was torn between helping Manu with his story and just letting him fail to give himself a shot at glory...
In the end, his good nature won out. He approached Manu later that day with his proposal.
"I'll help you out with the article, just as long as my name comes first."
=======
Hal Manson was busy making sure that the ship's energy gathering was runing at maximum efficiency and that the portal opened correctly once enough energy was gathered. The computer could have likely done this, but he found it far more entertaining than being cross-examined by Dr. Malcom Warse.
He'd have to face the man sooner or later, though, since he was under watch for possible obsessive-compulsive behavior...
======
The prescribed sedatives kept Martin in his quarters for the rest of the day, which ended up being a semi-conscious blur to him. He was vaguely upset that he wouldn't be present on this particular expedition, but that was the extent of his thoughts that day.
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Post by Hyperion on Aug 29, 2008 14:41:52 GMT -5
//Activate KJJRB 313!//
//Error 239: could not locate hard drive//
//Error 482: Could not locate hardware.//
//Error 1: Could not locate error library.//
Carl woke up in a bathroom stall. How he got there, he wasn't entirely sure. But he was postitive it had something to do with fish.
He wheeled out of the bathroom, making a quick note about his location that was immediately erased. His recycling folder had apparently begun a feud with his documents folder.
Carl made a note of that too, with the same results.
Onward he plodded, bumping into various objects and doors, which his calibration system argued persuasively did not exist.
Finally, the little robot managed to make his way to the engine room. After convincing the door to let him in, (A technique Carl had "learned" using an old shoe, spagetti logic, and the phrase "Jee golly jeepers!") he bumped into Hal.
//Hello Patricia!// Carl cried, startling Hall out of his reverie.
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Post by Fleetlord Atvar on Aug 29, 2008 19:11:23 GMT -5
Bernard Querch and John Maroontee were talking.
"But I'm a sacrifice! A #$!@ing sacrifice!"
"Yes. You are a traditionalistic abstractoid sacrifice. Can I sign your shirt and sell a picture of you?"
"NO %#$!ing NO!"
"Don't be so stuck up."
"I wonder who else is stuck up..."
"Me too."
"I MEAN YOU!"
"Oh."
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Post by Darth Grievi on Aug 31, 2008 22:51:33 GMT -5
Hal was startled by the sudden intrusion.
"Gah! Oh, hello, Carl... Are you malfunctioning?"
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Post by Fleetlord Atvar on Aug 31, 2008 23:09:52 GMT -5
Captain George Chestnut stared bleakly at the monitor. He was checking all the rooms, but when he attempted to view the computer room it said "Error:Area Marked Unviewable". He casually and rather unhappily walked there to see what the problem was. He heard some moans coming out of the door. Was someone being killed? The door was locked. He pounded on the door. After a few minutes it opened. LAH and SoDAlg were sitting there. He noticed LAH's shirt was on backwards. He muttered something to himself about computers and wandered off. He didn't even know computers cared about love, let alone could... do it.
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Post by Darth Grievi on Sept 1, 2008 14:28:48 GMT -5
True to his name, Wanderer casually meandered through the many corridors and hallways of the ship. He technically didn't have to use them, or even walk for that matter, but he found it relaxing and wonderfully time consuming to see how much of the ship he could cover before the portal finally opened...
Several hours into his trek, he ran into, or rather passed through, Nathan Onis. This was a ticklish sensation for Wanderer, a cold one for Nathan.
"Sorry, Nathan, I was lost in my own thoughts... And so were you, aparently."
"How did you know?"
"You were thinking deeply about something, but I refuse to look any further than that. It just jumped out at me when we met. Did you catch anything from me?"
"Something about a metallic airship. Like a big baloon, archaic..."
Wanderer laughed at this, since it was absolutely right.
"Anything like this?"
He proceded to whistle a few bars of some song Nathan (And probably everyone else on the ship) had never heard. It was mildly catchy, though.
"Look up 'Rock' on the computer. The music, not the mineral. Find some sort of band name list. You should find it from there."
Nathan nodded, made a mental note to himself, and continued on his way.
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Post by Fleetlord Atvar on Sept 1, 2008 14:36:47 GMT -5
(We really need to get to the next day; let's terminate the Carl story. We'll say that you didn't say it loudly enough for Carl to hear and you just went on your way.)
The day was ending. A long day was ahead of the captain. He had some trouble getting to sleep, thinking about the enormous leap he would take for mankind. He rememebered the words of ancient explorer Neil Armstrong. It was funny to think that once that was a major advancement. Once it was a major advancement just to find a new continent. It seemed ridiculous, but was true. Eventually his thoughts halted and his eyes shut.
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Post by Darth Grievi on Sept 1, 2008 15:19:02 GMT -5
Martin woke up that morning feeling as good as ever. There was no trace of the headache, he wasn't bleeding or dizzy, and there was nothing paralyzed. He figured it was just an unusually powerful migrane, or perhaps something he ate...
Which reminded him that he hadn't eaten at all yesterday since he was knocked out. Oddly, he didn't feel as starved as he should have. Maybe it was because he basically slept the whole day...
Either way, he was hungry now, and walked down to the mess hall to get breakfast.
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Post by Fleetlord Atvar on Sept 1, 2008 15:29:47 GMT -5
LAH reported. "60 minutes to portal completion. Eat quickly. Do not kill yourself. This has been a public service announcement."
---
SoDAlg was nowhere to be found. George looked at the computer monitor. There were several unidentified microchips. D**n you SoDAlg, why did you do this to me? I'm hungry, I want breakfast. But I'll have to investigate anyway. Darting off to the computer room, he found SoDAlg's voice crying. "What is it, SoDAlg?"
"I... I..."
"What?"
"A full system scan has just discovered that I have created a new computer. It's forming inside me. This is represented in my hologram form as pregnancy."
"I knew that was stupid what you did yesterday. Computers don't need sex. They just don't."
"What did you expect, when you gave us realistic emotions?"
"You weren't supposed to misuse them. They were supposed to be for communication with humans."
"YOUR FAULT!"
George had to run from the room before a food ration was thrown at him.
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Post by Darth Grievi on Sept 1, 2008 15:33:16 GMT -5
To this, Wanderer shouted out, "About time!"
No one heard his comment, though, since he'd stayed out of the mess hall this morning...
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Post by Fleetlord Atvar on Sept 1, 2008 15:35:56 GMT -5
"45 minutes to portal completion. Please do not intentionally injure yourself or unintentionally injure others. Do not go through portals if you have a heart condition or are pregnant. This has been a public service announcement."
SoDAlg angrily scowled. She had wanted to see the portal to another world.
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Post by Darth Grievi on Sept 1, 2008 15:39:13 GMT -5
By now, the expedition team had began to form. So far, Wanderer, Martin, Dr. South, Dr. Onis, and Calvin Onis had finished eating and were on their way to the portal room.
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